Yes….I know it’s crazy to think about. But yes: people out there love you and they care about you. Everyone needs to hear that, as corny as that sounds. We all need other people, it is a fundamental fact that species of the same type do tend to communicate and gravitate towards one another. Human to human. Echidna to echidna, whale to whale. Here are some ways to tell that you have some people in your corner.
They are proud of you. Even if it is only that you remembered one thing in that exam you know you just failed, they celebrate how proud you are with you. One of the best moments of my life was celebrating a milestone achievement with a best friend who was literally as ecstatic as me to have seen me achieve something I was working towards for a very long time. Someone who shares in your achievements like that cares about you quite a lot.
They make time for you even when they have a full plate. We are all busy, we know that about society. We are constantly doing things: working, studying, and generally living life. Yes sometimes you know you should be sitting at home adult-ing, you should be cleaning out the fridge and catching up on your budgeting, but instead you have a girl’s night, or go out and get drunk on the town. And that’s what friendship is about. It may not happen every-time, because life gets in the way. But if they show up for you, and prioritise seeing you, then that means they care.
They listen to your bullshit. They put up with the ranting, the pointless bitching, the complaining and the generally completely random stories you feel the need to tell them all the time. Listening is a really underrated skill. I personally struggle to listen to any story without interrupting to comment, apologies friends, I try hard to use impulse control but it’s not always successful. But even me, knows when to just stay silent and agree with everything they are saying so that they can get it off their chest. And that is caring enough about someone to listen openly and without judgement.
They are supportive. Even of the stupidest decisions. They allow you to make your own mistakes and are there for you when it all falls apart too. Support is a beautiful thing, because even when you are independent and strong, sometimes we all need of positive love thrown our way. Support can come in many forms, but it feels like a warm hug for your mental health. Support is what makes us feel like we aren’t completely alone and can help boost our confidence to try new things.
They can survive time apart from you. Long distance relationships are hard, so are long distance friendships. But people who manage to maintain some semblance of contact with you are worth holding onto. Coming from someone who has dealt with a whole lot of long distance, yes it is possible to still care about someone halfway across the world. You may feel more alone if those people are many miles away, but they don’t love you any less just because they live further from you for whatever reason. And with technology these days contact has never been easier to maintain.
So if you have a friend who displays any of these behaviors, they probably love/care about you. If they don’t display these behaviors, it doesn’t mean that no one loves you. Everyone shows they care in different ways, and this is not a foolproof list. Just some observations from a writer who thinks too much about the social sciences. And I happen to have some beautiful people who love and care about me.